| By :
Mark Etinger
I, like most Americans, love two things above all else. They are obvious once you hear them. In fact I bet you have already thought of them yourself, and if you haven't it is likely the result of your web soaked brain not being able to stay locked into this article for the duration of those first few sentences. Those things I love above everything else the universe has to offer? Saving money and owning stuff. These two loves of course are in many ways contradictory. I want to own it all but frankly I would really rather not have to pay for it. Since these are the primary motivating factors in my life and I do not have the personal make-up to be a criminal, I am instead stock with the internet where I can fish out some pretty wild deal news from a variety of places and get a ton of stuff for practically free!
The internet, of course, is a smart source for everything from funny pictures of puppies in people clothes to free videos of wildly lewd and unspeakable acts. The internet though is also a place where geniuses like me go to find big bargains and take advantage of the low overhead involved in building a business on the web to buy a wide array of merchandise. From special edition art-house French movies on Blue-Ray to limited edition action figures of characters from classic cartoons of the 1980's, you can find everything and anything on the web and at insanely low sale prices. My home is filled wall-to-wall with gadgets and do-dads. I sometimes wonder if I have become some sort of nightmarish hoarder destined to die buried and helpless under a pile of vintage Time and Cat Fancy magazines. Then I start flipping through one of those old issues of a magazine and remember why I love buying stuff on the internet. It is just about the greatest pursuit of my life. Building a wide array of collections to end all collections. Anyone with any interests at all would enter my home and feel envious of one or more of my fantastic sets of items. Of course if I do die under a pile of my favorite things, be it under the several cases of the originalformula of Four Loko I have illegally stored in my garage or when one of my priceless bowling balls signed by the cast of the Big Lebowski rolls off a shelf and clocks me in my head, I will be able to enjoy my demise knowing I died doing what I loved. Having stuff, saving money, the only things that matter.
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