| By :
Mark Etinger
The divorce process is rough enough all on its own. But when you add children to the mix, it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. A divorce can have a profound effect on children, though it is different from child to child. Some kids are far too young to really understand what is going on, while others take it harder than expected and become withdrawn from the family. Even if the degree of severity fluctuates, there are still steps parents can take to limit the unfavorable effect of the divorce process. Communication is key. Kids want to know what is going on and they should know. Do they need to know every last detail? Obviously not. But you can't hide the divorce from them. Imagine how terrible it would be for them to find out by accident or from Uncle Bill that you are getting a divorce. Try to make the discussion as gentle as possible and choose your words carefully. Never degrade your spouse in anyway. Attempt to not make drastic lifestyle changes. The idea that you and your spouse are splitting up is hard enough, but completely turning their world upside down will only make it worse. If changes are necessary, and they eventually will be, introduce them gradually. Try to keep the routine and lifestyle of pre-divorce as much as possible. Living in the same family home is always good, but if you must find a new place, try to live in the same area so they can continue going to the same school. Visiting friends and family shouldn't change. Extended family should continue to remain even after the divorce. Never drag your children into any spousal disputes. That should be a given. If there is a fight, have it in private. Children shouldn't be forced to listen to the two of you fight. Nor should they be made to pick sides in the divorce, or at least feel like they need to pick sides. After the divorce process, you and your ex should always attempt to come together for important events, such as your child's birthday or dance recital. Be amicable. The only thing worse than Dad not showing up to the birthday party is if the two of you have a huge blow-out during the party. Having both parents there will make a huge positive impact on the child. The most important piece of divorce advice is to keep a watchful eye on your children. I know you are going through a lot and it's easy to become distracted by all the change, but you have to be there for your children. Children often have trouble expressing their emotions and some are rather good at just plain hiding them. Are their grades failing? Are they acting out in school? These are signs that something isn't right. The divorce is taking it's toll on them too. Always be there for them. This isn't easy on them either.
|
![[Valid RSS feed]](http://www.nextlevelarticles.com/images/icon_Rss.png "XML Feed For RSS"){kind=icon}
Category Rss Feed
Print This Article
Add To Favorites
